A lil sadness

I thought I've gotten rid of everything but things appear when i least expect it. I've learned to ignore my dreams and not let it affect me but this morning as i was clearing out my desk, i found a printed version of that fateful conversation. read what you said and it irked me but it is what it is. i'm over the anger, the blame or the guilt. i often wonder how you are and if things are going according to your plan or perhaps your priorities have now changed. i wish the situation was different and it didn't have to be so absolute. i didn't want it to be but in so many ways you left me with no choice. so many nights I've lied awake thinking of the things I'd change, my behaviour perhaps, to be more attentive to certain signs and signals. i might have been able to save myself and maybe us from all that grief. then again, it takes 2 hands to clap.

the last few months, I've gone through some crazy emotional roller coaster ride. some absolutely fantastic, leaving me on a cloud that i wish i could stay on forever. others were the total opposite. made me look back on my past relationships, how i've felt in them and how different i feel now. I'm still me but with a different perspective of what i want in a partner. there is no need for you to overly compromise or change yourself for someone, if the feeling is there, both of you will meet halfway. being able to voice out (write out) exactly how you feel will save a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings/silent treatments. don't over think things, just believe. it's not easy to find someone you love who loves you back (whatever the situation), when you do, don't give up.


my thoughts are my own...